JEDPL Reviews: Dead Leaves
Here's a fellow Wikia user when talking about the official Animapredictview Wiki for his very first time: 'User: '"Aaaah, this is the stuff! Animapredictview Wiki's got just about everything when it comes to reviews and predictions: anime, cartoons.... HOLY MOTHERTRUCKIN' SHIT, THAT'S EPIC!!!" And then here comes me having a regular discussion with him (not really): 'User: '"ZOMG, TEH OUROBUROS!!!! You're, like, my idol!" 'Ouroburos: '"{laughs} Oh, stop... I'm really not so great of a model, you know. People tell me to let random ass contributors on this wiki, edit whatever the f*** they want without my consent... Meh." 'User: '"Can I ask you something, Ouro?" 'Ouroburos: '"Shoot!" 'User: '''This wiki's pretty cool and all that, but I feel that there should be just one itty-bitty thing here on this wiki... '''Ouroburos: '"Uh-huh. (Christ, who does this guy think he is, a fanboy!?) 'User: '"Do you, uh, think that, errr....." 'Ouroburos: '".................." 'User: '"............................." 'Ouroburos: '"Spit it out, goddamnit!!! I don't have all day! (Seriously, if he continues to pull a nervous fanboy impersonation, I swear to God I'll summon a gay clown to attack him.)" 'User: '"{takes a deep breath} IWANNASEEYOUDOAREVIEWORPREDICTIONONNAMOVIE, OHOHOHO!!!!!!!" 'Ouroburos: '"Huh....... Ooookay, if that's what you want. I can review a film for you today on this grand Friday!" 'User: '"FOR REALZ!?!?!?! YEEEEEEEEEEAAA!!!!!! AMER-I-CAAAAH, F*** YEAH!!!" 'Ouroburos: '"I hope this doesn't give me a migraine...." Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat's up, niggas?! The Extreme Conquerer, Ouroburos, has come as he promised about three days ago. It's "Fry-Day".... Ahahahahaha!! Sorry for the lame pun, guys. Tried to show you my love for french fries and Futurama. {ahem} I think it's time to get down to badass business, see? This is the first thing that's ever been on the Animapredictview Wiki: a movie prediction or review-lated; I'll be doing the latter, though. You know this'll be time-consuming, but for the right reasons. Ladies and gentlemen, this is the debut of movie reviewing and predicting.... Starting with the 2004 Japanese science-fiction movie, Dead Leaves! Now to be honest, I wouldn't call this one much of a film, since its running time is a mere 52 minutes (that's eight minutes before a whole hour!) and I'd consider cinematographic projects to have the lapse of usually an hour-and-a-half or beyond.... just as long as it isn't the exact length of the Lord of the Rings series or, dare I say it, Spider-Man 3... in terms of story, that is! However, since it's Japanese and was distributed by Shochiku, I will let this one slide. Dead Leaves was directed by Hiroyuki Imaishi (of Gainax fame; particularly when it comes to the likes of Gurren Lagann and Panty & Stocking with Garterbelt) and produced by Production I.G. Firstly, Imaishi's name written all over this movie might it sound even more awesome. Second, he's one of my all-time favorite Japanese anime directors, and Production I.G is one of all-time favorite production studios in Japan... You can tell that Dead Leaves won't disappoint! When you actually sit down to watch the motion picture itself.... Uhhhhh....... {laughs} No comment + confused face = "WTF did I just see???" expression. On top of DL having a total of 52 minutes in length, its visuals are frenetic (cartoony in some cases) and the plot is one big mindrape from start to finish. The story is, in fact, so weird and bizarre, you would think that this is the lovechild of FLCL and Excel Saga turned up to eleven; not when it comes to genre, but overall wackiness. Hell, Justin Freeman has mentioned that the entire movie is a neverending run-on sentence. Read the Anime News Network review of the film here to see what I'm talking about... you might even be looking at a more professional review than this pile of crap! Plot-wise, it starts off with a man and a woman both naked on the moon. The guy, Retro, is a savage and energetic fool with a television set for a head who might remind some people of Spongebob if he were on more acid than Monty Python... kinda-ish. The woman, Pandy, is a bit more on the cool side with a mutated mark that makes her seem like a panda bear (Retro lampshades this in the beginning of the film, for God's sake). Although they have amnesia, their abilities in combat are far from piss-poor; quite the BIG opposite, for while the duo are in search for food, clothing, and transportation, they kick the asses of police, robots, and the like with almost no effort. If a regular person had amnesia and was the one who created all the chaos, he would have a retarded expression on this mug, flop his arms like a faggot, and be all like, "Duh, I sowwy, Tokyo.... Duh? Dis is Too-key-you, yah? Da hell'm I at!?" Note: this is a half-assed joke and in no way am I mocking those with mental disabilities... I have Autism. Anyhoo, Retro and Pandy later get incarcerated in the intergalactic prison that is known as "Dead Leaves", just like the title of the film.... How original. It's located on a chewed-up moon, by the way. Once there, they're subjected to various activities like with all the rest of the inmates, such as being in straitjackets and having to poop... as a mandatory thing. {laughs} I love you, Japan... At one point, Retro (later Pandy, supposedly) meets up with a distinct dude named Chinko Drill, in which he has a golden drill that's pretty much his.... {laughs} Stop being so damn clever, you guys! Does this actually make sense to anyone right now? Anybody? You!? {shrugs} Tough crowd. Later, Retro and Pandy attempt to have prison sex.......... {puts finger on lips, flicking them up n' down n' all 'round} CRYSTAL DRAGON MOTHERF***IN' ASSCHEWING BIRDTOSSING PUZZLEJUMPING HOLY SHIT ON A SHIT SANDWICH.... WITH SHIT ON TOP PISSSWIMMING CHRIST!!!!!!!!!!!! Without a doubt, the "forced defecation" scene was like First Grade mathematics when comparing that to THIS! I never knew the mind could be screwed up in so many ways! It's revealed, though, that the "sex" tactic actually breaks the inmates AND the duo free. I wish this easily rescued someone while in jail instead of waiting for months and months and months and years and years and years! Over the course of DL, the backstories of our two main characters are unveiled. They were spies working at the facility and Galactica, the demented warden, schemes to get revenge on Pandy by re-creating a fairy tale she once reminisced about when she was little. Most of this all happens around or, well, after the massive prison break that Retro and Pandy start. More action then takes place, including the death of Doctor Yabu and a Mech showdown between Retro and 777, one of the prison guards. It goes downhill from there, in which Pandy gives birth to a mutated baby (who continues to age over time) who eventually sacrifices himself to that his new "parents" can survive, and furthermore, a giant caterpillar consumes the station. After all of that, the duo lands into Earth (or a f***ed-up part of it) via an escape pod, thereby crushing a bystander and... the credits... just roll. That was Dead Leaves... Son of a bitch, what a mind-warping, drug-inducing festival! I don't even think I need to describe anything else about DL when it comes to animation, plot, structure, or audio quality. Final verdict This is Ouroburos.TheNewSaurian signing out. Peace, everyone! Read the "Pros" and "Cons" section for all the jazz! Pros *The animation is very smooth and overall frenzified. You can definitely tell that Imaishi was behind all of the screwiness that was Dead Leaves, and I commend him for his work as usual. *The humor, with what little was worked with, shows that DL is another one of those "Movies That Are Highly Quotable"; speaking of which, anyone know what the shit a heliotrope is, and have you seen it? OUTTA MY RIDE! *Musically speaking, there's at least a 75% chance you'll be bobbing your head to a couple of the background tracks. Some really great composers, Daisuke Asakura and Yoshihiro Ike, are! *The English dub is about as superlative as a dragon having a threesome with Cerberus and a jackhammer. The voice cast (in particular, Amanda Winn-Lee, known by her performance as Rei Ayanami in Neon Genesis Evangelion and Jaxon Lee) was having way too much fun... Who can blame 'em? Cons *The character development outright sucks. Sure, Pandy has her moments, but other than that, everyone remains more or less the same throughout the entire movie... Appropriate, but not appropriate if Dead Leaves made a helluva lot more sense. *By figuring out the storyline, it's almost as bad (if not worse) as FLCL. That isn't to say that it's horrible, but not even a professional reviewer will attempt to make clear of what's going on! Category:Review